The following photos are of some of my favorite people. You won't find any images to make Helmut Newton feel inadequite, but they are fun nonetheless. Hopefully because all the pictures are so stoooopid the subjects will not mind that I took such a godawful photo of them in the first place!

To show what's good for the goose is good for the gander, the first piccy on the menu is one of the author.

Yes... the Little Orphan Annie impersonator to the left is me, believe it or not. It is sufficiently old, and I am sufficiently disguised for it to be shown and no-one to recognise me. I did win "best girl of the night", at that night's gathering of the pack.

It's a man's life in the Boy Scouts.

The geezer to the right is my cousin Murray. Standing on his head is the secret of his great intelligence... increased blood flow; pushes the synapses closer together; gives you a different perspective of problems; etc.

The great thinkers of history have done their best cogitating in this position. Ben Franklin flew his kite with the string tied around his big toe, doncha know. (Mmm... Poetry...)

Murray married a lovely girl named Anne (yay!) and then ran away with her to live in Port Augusta, South Australia around 2000 miles away (boo!). He's teaching science in high school there now. He has a website at http://www.labdude.com where you can see what schemes are bubbling away in his big juicy brain.

To the left is my brother Geoffrey. This is his "I don't do Stoopid" look. He is an athlete, musician and babe-magnet and he has more hair than me. I can beat him at chess and just about any computer game though, so I can hold my head up.

He's now known as Constable Geoff... and the girls love him even more.

To the right is a masterpiece of modern photography, titled "Ensign Wesley in search for more caffeine".

Andrew and his clan now live in the uniquely Australian named town of Wagga Wagga. Get yourself an eyefull of his purty web page at http://drew.echidna.id.au and tell him what a clever cloggs he is. Er... and tell him to get on with it and put some more content up!

Justin... To the left he is seen in his Army Cadets uniform, the very picture of clean cut youth. To the right is how we see him.

When we said "let's have a stoopid face contest" and pulled the camera out, he came up with this and won easily. It was an obvious choice for the Bad Photos page.

He's living and working in Albany now so we all don't get to see him as often as we'd like. We're depending on a bunch of people with names like "Jodie", "Ben", and "Bus" to look after him. They're doing a good job so far...

The person to the left (looking extremely smooth) is the notorious Andrew Shugg. He is a very clever bloke indeed. Systems Administrating is in his blood, but at present he is working in contract programming doing Perl and other PGLs that didn't exist when I went to uni...

Visit his website at: http://www.shugg.net/~andrew

To the right, looking sharp in a tux(!), is Andrew "Big Bus" Main from Albany. Why "Bus" I'm not sure. I tried to weasel the secret out of a couple of people, but they couldn't tell me. I gave Justin a crumbly old PC, and it's Bus' job as on-site techo to keep it running. The shaven head is not his normal look... he usually has a bit of a white man's afro.

To the right is Mr Timothy Edward Malkin, records manager and chaotic sleeper. Some of the many strange positions he has been discovered asleep in include: flat on face, arms beneath body; flat on back, legs crossed (ankle on knee!); asleep on stomach, arm jutting out of bed at right angles. All of these, and this dead to the world photo, were achieved without alcohol (we think).

Tim currently works for the Western Australian Education Department... when he's not sleeping.

Nathan Howes, one of my "cousins" from Busselton in the south-west of Western Australia. Beware, he's an army man, six and a half feet high, trained to give you a damn good bollocking, and this is his evil eye...

To the right Nathan is either giving Geoff a hug or trying to snap his neck special forces style, we're not sure. The beautiful beaches of Busselton.

Email him at sadclown@iinet.net.au and ask him exactly how he broke his ankle... if you want a laugh.

Tristan, brother of Nathan, and my brother Geoff in their stupid drinking hats. Tris is a mechanical type guy, with those chunky mechanic's hands that the girlies all love. Naturally, said girlies love Tris, even in his drinking hat.

ps. No, he's not wearing a wig.

This is obviously NOT a bad photo. It's a absolutely beautiful photo of Tristan and his wife Cassie, and their puppy "Harley" taken by his bro Nathan (see above). Aren't they cute? Sorry girls, Tristo is taken now! Cass is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, and the day Tris leaves her to one of us in his will is the day he signs his death warrant!

Seriously, these two give me some hope that maybe the world isn't quite as shite as I think, and good things really do happen.

This is my nephew Ben trying out ten-pin bowling for the first time and loving it. He's six, and he has a brother Jaydyn who turned two in January. He is Thomas the tank engine's number one fan.

The bowling picture to the right was taken at Grace's tenth birthday party. In the picture to the right he's bouncing (way high) on his trampoline.

Being an uncle is great cause you get all the fun stuff and can just hand the kid back to mum if things get difficult!

This is Grace, the daughter of a friend at work. She is super-active (she's going blurringly fast bouncing on Ben's trampoline in the pic to the right!), and is into gymnastics (as you can see to the left), athletics, drama and Ninjitsu! She is also a Pokémon Master, but I can kick her butt at Mario Kart!

This is a picture of Ali the Nanny, when she was working in America. Despite the apparently terrified look on this kid's face the little dudes she looks after all love her, and who could blame them? When it comes to nannies Ali makes Mary Poppins seem like a horrible old hag.

Alison has been globetrotting from England to the U.S but is now back home in Oz to tie the knot and study.

This is a photo of my cat Pixel. Isn't she cute? One, two, three, Awww... She's the only thing alive that is actually happy to see me every day. She is so cute that even the vet can't help gushing 'Oh shes so boooootiful' in a baby voice when she sees her.

To the right you can see her playing with Sam, the stupidest of stupid dogs. She's perfectly safe. He doesn't have a clue that dogs aren't supposed to take crap from kittens.

This is a more more recent picture of Pixel and her little friend Joe; aka Smokey Joe, Smokin' Joe Frazier, Mighty Joe Young, Mighty Atom. He is a hard, hard man... not at all like the softy you see here. ;)

IMPORTANT NOTE: As the title says, these are pictures of people I like. They don't necessarily like me. In fact I know some of them (particularly the first dude wearing the wig and the dress) hate my guts.

Back

This page last modified: Monday 3rd June, 2002.